Your money will go to a good cause. I’m from the government and I’m here to help.

When I was on the way home yesterday, I learned more about the efficiency of the city government here in Charleston. Apparently each council member is allowed to allocate $35,000 dollars to a charity of their choice. They reassured me that there would be no chance of favoritism.

This is so wrong on so many levels that I don’t know where to start. A council member on the radio show said that if the charities did not get the money they needed, their functions would fall back onto the government, which isn’t as efficient. While the government is inept at solving social problems with money, apparently they are experts at doling it out to just the right organization. Before the council donated the money, the charities got along just fine. The council member said, “But what if the charities didn’t get the money. What would they do then? The city would then suffer from all the fall out.” But. . um. . they are getting the money

I would like to talk about a more pressing problem, people eating. The health hazards caused by people not eating are far reaching. They get hungry, sick, and then die. I know that we let people feed themselves now, but can we really trust them to do this? What would happen if these people all of the sudden quit buying food? The hospitals could not handle the burden. The economic costs would be staggering, even if they refused to eat for only two or three weeks! It is our duty as citizens to deliver enough beans and rice for each citizen to eat. We must then prepare it for them, and shove it down their throats. Many doubters will say that people are doing fine eating themselves, but we scoff at such ignorance. We have to look at what would happen if they didn’t, and plan accordingly.

When we know how people behave in a certain instance, we shouldn’t make up hypothetical behavior that is different from the observed behavior and make decisions based on that. People do donate to charities they feel are efficient, and engaged in a good cause. People eat. We don’t have to use government power to change either of these, especially if they are using Zaphod Beeblebrox’s Heart of Gold to calculate to whom we should dole out the dough.

The other catch is, what if these politicians are donating to charities that the taxpayers don’t like? The politicians get to feel generous with other people’s money, and charities start wasting resources putting on dog and pony shows for the town council to try to get those resources. It encourages pandering at its worst. Why should I donate to the UNCF (United Negro College Fund) when I am really interested in donating to the CPWWTCF (Children of People Who Wrote This College Fund). These council members push forward their social agendas for larger and more powerful government with my resources. I know what is best for my money.

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